Prezly Writes

THE RETURN

“Xena, I love you so much, you know. I’m sorry for not always being there, and thank you for trusting me. I promise, I’ll come back to you,” said Isis.
It wasn’t the first time Isis had made that promise, but Xena believed her. She would make it, one day.

“I know, Isis… I know. I love you too, I’ve always loved you. I’m glad to hear you say that,” she replied, without adding…”again.”
“You will always find your home with me, Isis. When you’re ready, come back to me.”

I will never stop calling your name, drawing it, singing it, dreaming of it. I know, Isis, that you’ll return. You have it in you. You are stronger than anyone. Stronger than me. If only you knew how much I admire you, how much you inspire me.

Every night, I play our song Somewhere Only We Know and look at the painting you gave me of the two of us in the cosmos. It’s incredible. I don’t know if you realize that.

In the showroom, your paintings are everyone’s favorites, but I tell them they’re not for sale. And then they start bidding anyway. We reached two thousand last time, you know.
For you, it doesn’t mean much, I know that. How do you even convert them into drops of souls, huh? But for others, it’s through this digital mirror that they define life. That’s what they’ve been taught.

You, you learned everything backwards. That’s why I admire you so deeply. When they told you to look at your notebook, you looked at the stars. When they said to study grammar, you drew. Only physics and chemistry interested you.
When they told you to work, you preferred to paint and write, even if it meant being ridiculed. “What money will that bring you?” your math teacher asked, and you answered, “My soul, I will find it again.”
He never understood. You were just the strange child to him. But I saw you, in your beauty, your humanity. I had never met someone so profound. Isis, in my home you will always have a home.

Isis cried silently on the line. She said nothing, caught her breath, and hung up.

She was sorry, but she had taken too many blows. The last month on Colomb had been far too intense, Xena, Aylan,  Wise Grandpa… She needed to see Prélubia again.

Prélubia was like a breath in the chaos, always guiding her where she needed to go.

That night, Isis locked herself in and decided: tomorrow she would see Prélubia. But how would she get to Exylin? She had lost too much energy to project herself. It didn’t matter. Prélubia would come, she knew it.

PRÉLUBIA

Indeed, the next morning, Prélubia rang the bell. Isis immediately embraced her. She never had to explain herself to her; she knew, and she loved her.

“Oh Isis, you look so pale. Have you eaten? You know you must eat, at least for me, remember. We promised: when the vital functions are affected by the outside world, you return to Prélubia, and she takes care of you.”

“Thank you, Prélubia… but I miss Xena, you know. I’m trying to reach her. I’ve saved ten tokens again. Grandpa told me I could do it just with my soul, without converting it into essence. Yes, Grandpa spoke to me, or rather, he wrote to me before he left.”

“Grandpa?”

“Wise Grandpa , my Grandpa.”

“Oh, Isis…”

“Don’t worry about me. I just need to find what resonates within me.”

“Isis, why did you call me?”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” she cried. “Please, don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. And even when I’m not here, you know I’m always within you. My beautiful Isis, you don’t need me.”

“Of course I do. What are you saying? You are everything to me.”

“That isn’t fair to Xena, and you know it. You can’t keep avoiding her by calling for me. If you’re afraid of losing her, then she’s the one you must find. By summoning me, you only push her away. She loves you, you know, but she’s not like me. She’s human and humans have dangerous limits to reach.”

“Oh no, Isis, don’t cry. You know I’m not saying this to hurt you, or to add to your pain. I’m saying it because you’re ready. I heard it in your call, it wasn’t like the others. There was a strange mix of determination and hesitation. But I’m glad, you know. I’ll never blame you for leaving me. After all, you already managed it these past three years. You focused on your art. You created ten cities at the edges of Prisxia, ten neighboring galaxies, including the Milky Way. You helped Xena organize five Salons. A blog, even a book “The Ephemeral Voices”. That book is magic. It represents you. It fascinates me that you rediscover it constantly at the bookstore, and each time, it tells you something new. That’s how gifted you are, writer, painter, messenger between worlds and light. My dear, you are so much more than I am. And when you finally let me go, I will have fulfilled the most beautiful purpose: I will have helped you. I love you.”

Prélubia vanished.

THE DOUBT

Isis stayed inside for ten more days. She needed quiet. She needed to find herself again.

She wondered: “Did I dream? Which part was imagined? Prélubia… Xena… Xena cannot be invented, I refuse it. She is the most beautiful encounter I’ve ever had.”

For once, she didn’t paint. She didn’t write. She only thought, trying to untangle everything.

She asked herself: “Who am I, and what is my destiny?”

“If I choose what I am, am I truly? If I am undefined, if I have no visible contour seen by the world, what am I?”

“But they recognize me, though. Aylan… Aylan recognizes me. Yes, that I know.”

✦ XENA’S JOURNAL

I know I will never suffer as much as she does, and I refuse to complain.
But right now, I’m bleeding. My soul screams until my ears ring, my chest twists and makes me howl in pain.

I cry constantly. I cannot stop. My heart bleeds, and I can feel the blood flow through my lungs and reach my diaphragm. My stomach contracts and leaves me in pain.

I want to help her. I love her. I need her, and she needs me.

But each passing day, I feel myself dying a little more. Of course I’ll survive, I’d never do that to her. She would say that it would allow us to find each other again in the cosmos.

But me, I want to find her on Earth.

Three years ago, she gave me a bouquet of pink lilies and a diamond necklace, yes, diamonds. She spent all her savings, because to her, nothing was more precious than my smile. That’s what she said. And of course, the gesture moved me, only she could think and speak that way. But what I think is that all the diamonds in the world could never equal her presence.

Today, I would give up everything. I would strip myself bare, keep only the diamonds, to remind her: look, we love each other, if only that could bring her back.

If I could, I would use astral projection. I would go into her dreams. We would live happily there. And I think that’s what breaks my heart the most: she’s not here, and I’m not in the world she creates. But I would be content with it.

✦

✦ ISIS’S JOURNAL

Lately, I see my fairy everywhere. She follows me wherever I go. Xena never leaves me, and it comforts me. I’m so happy. I always wanted to see her more. Every second, every minute, I missed her, wondering where she was.

I know she would want me to join her, and I promise I will.

✦

THE RETURN TO SELF

After ten days, Isis finally returned to Loucia Park, where she met the wind. Together, they began to laugh. He told her that yesterday, a boy had tried to impress his lover with a song and dance, but had fallen in the middle of the performance, so the girl laughed, and he conquered her heart. All that effort, only for his fall to bring them together. Isn’t it funny, to be human? asked the wind.
“Yes,” answered Isis, “it can be very funny.” And they laughed.

After that, Isis went to the Maily Café.
She began to write to her soul in the present tense:

“My dear self, I’m sorry. Sorry that it’s so hard. That you struggle to find yourself. That you have to fight twice as hard as an average person just to stay sane.

I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt. And I’m even more sorry that because of that pain, you sometimes hurt others.

But I don’t blame you. They say I don’t know you anymore, that I’ve drifted from you, but the truth is, I know you better than anyone ever could. And I love you. I don’t demand that you be perfect, that you fit every one of my expectations and whims.

But today I must ask you one thing: guide me. I know that you know better than I do who you are, who I am, and that I don’t need to be more defined.

I am a whole, and a whole doesn’t need to be contained. But if one learns to observe it, it becomes clear.
Forgive me for doubting that, for doubting myself even for a moment. I deserve more than that. And I have more to offer than tears.

I miss Xena. I’m going to find her. I can’t leave her any longer.”

ISIS AND THE EARTH

Isis brought her soul back to Earth.
At first, she didn’t recognize anything. She was in the same café, yes—but there were people, so many people. It wasn’t the mystical café that once belonged to her.

There was noise, unbearable noise. She covered her ears. Yet the décor was the same: dim lights, brown walls, pink flowers in every corner, numbered mailboxes, a wooden counter overlooking the coffee grinders. She focused on these details, they soothed her. She could do this. She was capable.

She then stepped outside. The atmosphere was nothing like Xenon. It was scorching hot, the daylight blinding, the city lacked the gothic charm she had loved in Prisxia.

She walked without recognizing the streets. Eventually, she left the city behind and reached a place more beautiful than any she’d seen on Xenon or Exylin. Yet she remembered it, it looked like that place by the lake where she had met Xena.

There was greenery everywhere. Peace. The light of the sky was gentler. The calm was welcome. There was even a soft breeze. She kept walking, and then, she saw it. The lake. And near it, a lovely little house.

“Xena!” she whispered. Yes, she had made it home.