Prezly Writes

Today I sent poems to a magazine for the first time.

I wanted to be published, of course, but mostly I wanted to learn.

A few hours later the answer arrived.
“Unfortunately, your material was not approved for publication.”It hurt for a moment. Then it woke me up.

These are the three poems I sent :

I. The Light in Your Eyes (the version that was rejected)

It was a slow Monday,
the sky was washed in grey.
I prayed you’d come, then stay,
and chase the dark away.

You stole the light from skies,
with fire in your eyes.
Shifting from bright to deep,
you woke what dared to sleep.

You held the power near,
I bowed in silent fear.
Just for a look, a breath of you,
I’d trade the calm I knew.

My shy eyes almost cried
when you stepped close inside.
You saw the way I burned,
you smiled, the world returned.

It was a sweet affliction,
a beautiful addiction.
Your gaze became my key,
unlocking what was me.

You’d smile, a crooked art,
I felt it pierce my heart.
I loved you, dark and wild,
the storm, the broken child.

You vanished with the day,
the wind has swept your way.
Yet still I hear your parting sighs,
the light that left your eyes.

You are the king I seek,
the calm that makes me weak.
Forever will you lie
within my endless sky

I thought I loved that version. The truth is, it did not represent my voice. Now I see it was trying too hard to be pretty and safe.

Here was the original version :

It was a slow Monday,
I hoped you would stay,
The sky was all grey.

You stole the light
With your eyes
Shifting from bright to dark.

You held the power,
And with my melting heart,
I would obey,
Just for a look,
Just for a moment of you.

You held the power,
What wouldn’t I do,
I wanted my praise.

You saw it,
Played with it,
But it was addictive,
I wouldn’t quit.

You gaze fell on me,
And my whole being awoke.
You would smile,
Sometimes a crooked one,
I recognized it,
I loved it.

I loved you.
In your darkness,
In you anger,
In cracks.

II. PORCELAIN

The sun sung her name.
The plant writhed to do the same.
It made her pretty and delicate,
almost like porcelain.

She reflected my shadow,
oh well, too well,
trying to resist,
dragging at her feet.

But the sun ended up leaving,
and with the night
I almost win.

I can’t envelop her delicacy,
only circle it,
too careful,
too tempted
to break it.

III. The Flow (original text with the little mistakes still in it )

I let the flow take hold of me,

I loose myself in eternity.

Just in that moment when I breath.

I know there is more to it.

I am not fighting anymore.

I just need to let it go.

I let the flow take hold of me,

Wherever it wants, it leads me.

Uncertain it may surely be,

Yet perfect it always comes to be.

And with it, I go willingly.

I lost myself in the flow,

And I found something more.

I don’t need to fight anymore,

I just need to let it go.

My soul takes over my body,

My mind is not closed up inside,

It is all around me.

Without any corner

Without any frontier.

I lost myself in the flow.

With my breath I let it be.

What probably went wrong :

Porcelain floated too much.

The Flow had silly little grammar mistakes.

And the first poem wore too much makeup.

I am not published today, but I am a better poet than yesterday.

Thank you Edge of Humanity Magazine, for reading me and giving me such a fast answer.

Your “no” pushed me forward.

The next submission is already getting cleaner and braver because of it.

If anyone reading this has even the smallest piece of advice for me, on these poems or on my writing in general, on submitting, on trusting my own voice, anything at all, please tell me.

Be gentle or be honest, I will take everything.

Comments, messages, emails… they all help. I really want to grow.Thank you for reading until the end.

– Prezly 🖤